“In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.” Abraham Maslow

Couple kissing by a lake.

Ever wondered what it would take to change your relationship for the better? Here are five things that could do just that. How do we know? Because these things are what we found looking at couples who were successful in their relationship.

  • Have a check-in at the end of the day with your partner. Talk about important, exciting and interesting events of the day. Have a stress-reducing conversation as needed. Set aside 30 minutes for this conversation daily.
  • Have a weekly date lasting at least three hours long. I know, I know, you’ve heard this before from me. It’s what successful relationships do. So it makes this list!
  • Be sure to be turning towards one another throughout the day in positive ways. These moments put lots of deposits into your emotional bank account with your partner and create a buffer for tough or stressful moments.
  • Here’s one for the male partners of the world. Research shows that if you bring up attention to low-level irritability within a few days of noticing it, you can significantly improve the happiness in your relationship. So bring it up gently and have a conversation of at least half an hour. Address anything that needs addressing if it relates to something in the relationship. Offer support in managing stress or some other issue if it is from something outside the relationship. Whatever is needed. Mostly, notice it and show that you are there for your partner by having that conversation.
  • When you are apart from your partner (OK, nowadays that would be when you are in the other room), keep positive thoughts going about your partner.

That’s it. Do these five things, and your relationship will change for the better.

A Survival Kit for Your Relationship

Cover of the exclusive guide: Lockdown driving you crazy? Don't strangle your partner, try this instead…

A Survival Kit for Your Relationship

Our exclusive guide — Lockdown driving you crazy? Don’t strangle your partner, try this instead… is packed with information to help you and your partner come out of the pandemic with a stronger relationship.

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LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT
LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT About LeMel...
Helping Create Healthy Relationships Since 1997
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFC 42162
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor LPC 1534
Certified Gottman Therapist