Pizza always in the wayPizza always in the way

I’ve mentioned date night a few times in my blogs, but it is worth spending a little bit more time on it. One of the big differences between couples who have great relationships and those who don’t is that the former continue to date one another throughout their relationship. Dating isn’t just important for starting a relationship, but for making it shimmer throughout the rest of your life! But once you know someone, you might think, why date? Would you be surprised to hear that having good dates leads to greater satisfaction in the bedroom? If you’ve been following along in my blogs, this shouldn’t be a shock. The research has shown that a strong friendship is related to satisfaction with romance, passion, and sex in relationships. Continuing to date on a weekly basis creates opportunities to keep your friendship thriving.

Sometimes couples complain that the spark has gone out in the bedroom. Then they admit that they don’t put much time into their relationship, but expect that passion, sex and romance should somehow just materialize! That’s not the way it works when we’re single and dating, why should it work when we are partnered? Put another way, think back to when you were dating. Were you guaranteed to “get lucky” when you were going on a date? No. But what did we all do? We primped (a little trimming here and there, a bit of “smells-good” over there, …), planned (when and where we were going), and did all we could to get ourselves ready for the possibility of romance. So! Continue dating if you want the possibility of romance and passion to continue in your relationship!

date night at the museumdate night at the museum

If you’ve run out of ideas as to what to do on a date, download the Gottman Card Decks app and check out Opportunity cards for some ideas. The app has other categories that will help you have topics to talk about (e.g., Open-Ended Questions, Love Maps), as well as tips on how to be a good listener and more. You'll find plenty more ideas on-line, such as 70 date night ideas by Mantelligence (e.g., “Go to an interactive play where you’d be part of the story and open the treasure chest of each other’s imagination.”). For those on a budget Dave Ramsey has some suggestions (e.g., “Listen to your throwback records, vintage tapes, or mixed CDs. Pick the ones that were important to you when you two were dating.”)

The weekend is coming, folks. Get out there and go on a date!

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LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT
LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT About LeMel...
SFBayCounseling.com
LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFC 42162
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor LPC 1534
Certified Gottman Therapist