Love note.

Love note.If you haven’t made plans yet for Valentine’s Day, it’s not too late! There are plenty of great things to do, not only on Valentine’s Day but for the weekend and beyond.

Valentine’s Day can be a great day to develop a ritual of connection. Rituals of connection are ways to stay connected consistently. They provide a way you can count on to interact in both small and important moments throughout the day, the week, and the years to come. Examples include date night, birthdays, how we greet one another at the end of the day, etc. It is a good idea to discuss these. Talk about why it is important (why you’ve chosen to talk about it). Then go into the nitty-gritty of incorporating it into your life (the who, what, when, and where of it).

Two swans embracing.

For Valentine’s Day, our culture promotes various different ways to celebrate, most of which are date night type activities. Date night is essential as a ritual of connection for couples. I’ve talked about its importance and some ideas for what to do in Date Night Blues, but here are some great ideas for Valentine’s Day:

    Two swans embracing.
  • Take a chocolate-making class together (there are plenty of options, search online for one close to you).
  • Tour a few of your favorite places as a couple. Each person chooses 2-3 places to tour that have been important to you as a couple. Visit these and remember the good times together.
  • Night at the museum. Many museums have evening events on special occasions. Check out your local museum websites for events. One related example is Chocolate, Champagne and Art at the Gallery House in Palo Alto, CA.
  • Have a poetry reading. Check out the local library for romantic poetry and read to each other favorite poems over a glass of wine.
  • Take a Ghost Tour! For example, Valentine Haunt and Ghosts of Valentine’s are options in the Bay Area.
  • How about the Great San Francisco Pillow Fight!? This is held at Justin Herman Plaza on Market Street at 6 p.m. Valentine’s day.
  • Have a themed dinner and a movie night at home. For example, watch 50 First Dates dressed in your favorite Hawaiian shirts and enjoy an umbrella drink!

Notice that some of these options are pretty low cost. It doesn’t take much money to create a Valentine’s Day ritual of connection that can be one more way of keeping the romance stoked in your relationship. You can also check out other rituals of connection ideas on the Gottman Card Deck app under rituals of connection. Happy Valentine’s Day!

'If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever.' — Alfred Tennyson

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LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT
LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT About LeMel...
LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFC 42162
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor LPC 1534
Certified Gottman Therapist