"What makes sex exciting is really the sense of someone allowing you into their life...it's exciting because it's permission."

– Alain de Botton (from an interview with Debbie Millman on Design Matters, 27 June 2016)


We know from the research that's been done that a good sex life for a couple depends on how well the friendship is going lately. I've talked before about how to keep passion alive with consistent moments of connection (enter: Date Night!). What I love about Alain de Botton's perspective here is that, in the context of a long term relationship, there are hundreds of ways to think about our connections as good foreplay. How do we let our partners into our lives? Are we intentional? Does it stop or have an expiration date? It certainly doesn't have to! If we are keeping up our friendship, learning and exploring about one another, the excitement and permission never have to stop, they can deepen.


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LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT
LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT About LeMel...
LeMel Firestone-Palerm, LMFT, LPCC, CGT
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist MFC 42162
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor LPC 1534
Certified Gottman Therapist