Why are there so many jokes about relationships and marriage? It seems at least half are about sex and the loss of romance and passion. How is passion kept alive over the long haul? Psst! The secret, bend close, is … friendship! — Surprised? If your partner has been a good friend lately you are more likely to be in the mood to play together and have fun. But with kids, work, and all the stress of modern life, you might ask, how the heck are we to find time for that? This is challenging, and the answer to that is as specific as the couple.

Here are some ideas:

• Date night. You might have heard of this and thought it was corny, but if you want to keep romance and passion alive, keep dating your partner! Dates are times to catch up and stay in tuned with your partner’s world. This is key to any friendships (pssst, the secret, remember?).
• Have moments through the day that you connect habitually, if only for a moment: a kiss goodbye before work, a kiss hello (make this one long and slow), a quick back scratch before sleep.
• Check-ins at the end of the day about how your days went.
• Going for a hike on the weekend.
• Watch a movie together once a month and talk about it.
• Cultivate a mutual hobby and do activities around this weekly or monthly.

You get the idea! Have activities and habits in your life together that cultivate closeness and friendship and the passion and romance in your life will thrive.